Pride and Prejudice and Perhaps a New Love Interest?!

In case y'all didn't know this about me, I'm a sucker for romantic stories. I can't even tell you how many times I've watched every Jane Austen movie ever made. I'm serious. I've watched them all. The black and white version of Pride and Prejudice from 1945?
My momma's favorite. The 2003 low budget film festival version made in Utah? Yep. I've even been to the house it was filmed in. Probably helped that it was across the street from my Diddy and Gammy's house when they were still with us. Slight tangent, I remember driving by their old house after they had both passed on and I suddenly longed to go running around in the back yard when the grass was being irrigated from the ditch in the back yard. I wanted to go collect walnuts from their tall walnut tree. But I couldn't because they weren't there anymore. And then I looked across the street and someone had torn down the Pride and Prejudice house and built a new one right on top of the spot. My heart was broken. BROKEN. I died to death.

Going back to my point, I love those amazingly romantic stories of misunderstanding and hope and love. I love love. And James had never watched them before, which isn't really surprising. He's a guy and a lot of guys don't watch that kind of thing. So I promised him the best home cooked meal he had ever tasted in exchange for him watching Pride and Prejudice with me. He agreed with the stipulation that if it wasn't the best home cooked meal he'd ever had that he didn't have to watch Pride and Prejudice with me and he would pick the movie instead. I agreed and he volunteered to bring the ingredients to make ice cream.

I didn't want to overwhelm him and push my luck by making him watch the very wonderful and five hour extravaganza with the lovely Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle.
But I feel like the 1945 version doesn't explain the ending very well. And I LOVE the ending. And while the bollywood version is amazing, I wanted James to take the story seriously and felt that he might find the musical numbers distracting.

I settled on the new classic 2009 version with Matthew McFadyen and Kiera Knightley because it covers the story well and gives a very satisfying ending. Now, I just had to make the most delicious meal he had ever tasted.

For dinner I decided to make Chicken Alfredo over penne pasta with homemade garlic bread sticks and a green salad with Italian dressing. I also made Virgin Pina Coladas to drink (because neither of us drink alcohol). It is a meal I have spent years perfecting. I once even made noodles from scratch, but since we were watching the movie last night, I didn't have time between class and homework. But the rest of the meal was completely made from scratch! And it was amazing. James loved it.

After dinner we put the ingredients together for ice cream. James brought ingredients for a salted caramel pretzels ice cream. We made just plain vanilla and started it churning on the balcony and can't call to the living room where it was time to face the music.
"well" he told me with a look of disappointment, "I guess I'm watching this girly show because you were right, that was the best home cooked meal I've ever tasted"
I think I squeeled a little bit.

So, while the ice cream was mixing we watched Pride and Prejudice and we might have cuddled a little bit which was unexpected, but looking back it shouldn't have been because we had dinner together and then sat down to watch one of the most classically girly stories ever and I know that he was only watching it because I asked him to. I guess I just wasn't thinking of him in actual terms of a relationship. But I can't say that I hated it because it was so much fun and I love spending time with him. When we first started hanging out we would talk about people we were interested in around the area or in our classes, but lately we haven't been. It's been nice. And I've been seeing a lot more of him lately. He just stops by and we talk for hours sometimes. Guys, am I interested in James? Because I really wasn't expecting to fall for anyone, let alone James. He's become a great friend. Gah. I don't even know what's happening.

And then, after the movie was over, we mixed the caramel and chocolate covered pretzel bits into the ice cream and sat back down on the couch to talk. It was the most amazing ice cream I've ever tasted. It was the perfect end to a really great day. And James even let me rewind the end of Pride and Prejudice and rewatch the ending. "Mrs. Darcy" *sigh* I LOVE that moment when they're finally together. Looking out over the dark night treasuring each other's company. And then he kisses her and I just get a little giddy every time. James just laughed a little bit at me. I don't even care. It's happy and I love their happiness. It's like at the end of Sense and Sensibility when Edward shows up to confess his love to Eleanor. I love the version with Dan Stevens and he follows her into the kitchen and instead of even saying anything when he proposes, she just walks over and hugs him and he visibly sighs and then they kiss and then I visibly sigh and it's just wonderful.

At the end of the night, James got up to leave. I gave him a hug because I'm a hugger and as I pulled away his hand slipped to my elbow and I paused and kind of looked at him and he kissed me on the cheek, smiled and then walked out the door. Which is good because I think I turned a deep shade of red and lost all train of thought. Guys. I don't even know what's happening. I never felt like this with Hollander, or any of my other boyfriends. But I think I like it.

General Conference Weekend and Polygamist Dating

Hey y'all!!! It's Conference Weekend!!! My favorite weekend of the year!! Now, I don't know if y'all know much about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, but twice a year, the first weekend of April and October, we gather together and hear from the leaders of our church! It's AMAZING!! I feel like all of my worries and doubts are addressed when I listen to these great men and women who lead us! You can check it out HERE! If you are looking for peace in your life that seems to be out of your grasp. Or if you feel like everything is just not going your way, please check it out, m'kay? I promise you will feel something wonderful and peaceful!

In other news, I have been spending some time with that new guy I was telling you about, James. He's super cute, like in a friend way. He's from Seattle and is working on a Bachelor's degree in Chemical Engineering. He's really smart. He hasn't asked me out, and I'm kind of glad because I'm having fun just being friends with him. Plus, I feel like everything happened so fast with Hollander that it's nice to kind of just take things easy. Get to know him as a friend and then we'll see if anything happens later. But seriously, he's adorable. We went to get ice cream the other night and my friend Rachel came with us. James surprised us by paying for both of us and we went to sit together. It was funny watch people watch us. It was a Friday night and the ice cream shop was rather busy as we sat down and started talking between us. I noticed several couples kind of watching us with a curious glance. It dawned on me that they may have thought we were on a date. Like, a guy dating two girls kind of a date. Like, a polygamist date. And I guess it would have looked a little bit funny because I was sitting closer to James than Rachel was, but we were all engaged in the conversation. A couple left and I saw the girl shaking her head and I'm pretty sure she mouthed something like "disgusting" in our direction as she left. I turned to James and asked,

"Um, did you see that lady?"

"Did she just mouth 'disgusting' at us?" He asked.

"I think so! I think she thought we were both on a date with you." I told him.

"Why would people think we were on a date?" Rachel chimed in with.

"Because James bought our ice cream. Oh my gosh. I think people think we're on a polygamist date!" I answered. And then we all started laughing. Instead of being offended or getting upset, we decided to play it up. When we left James made it a point to say a little louder than he normally would,

"So, ladies, I got us tickets for the 7:15 show. We better hurry so we don't miss the previews" and then he took us each by the hand and we left together. It also didn't help that he had driven so we all climbed back into his car and we drove away trying not to die of laughter.

I think this is one of the things I love about Utah. People's assumptions get the best of them, which is remarkable because this place is unlike anywhere else in the world. There is a brightness to the people, a lot of friendliness and eagerness to know you. It's a melting pot of cultures because so many people travel great distances to attend BYU. Heck, I'm one of them! But it's almost like people are looking for the strangest of circumstances when there is often a completely reasonable explanation. Like how James was just being a nice person and not dating two girls at the same time. Because that would be a rather interesting situation.

So, y'all, when you see something you can't quite understand, how about you not go to the craziest explanation. And also, don't call people disgusting for eating ice cream with friends. Because it's not. And that would be weird.

Goodbye Summer, Hello Autumn.

Hey y'all! Sorry I haven't been as diligent as I mean to in posting! I get distracted by pinterest a bit too easily! And school, but that's neither here nor there.  Any way, here we are! Another weekend behind us! It was a good weekend too!! The leaves are starting to change which I always feel mixed emotions over. They're beautiful and I love them, but that also means summer is officially gone and a new adventure is beginning. I hate change. I hate saying  goodbye. So, I cherish the beauty of the autumn leaves and try not to hold on too tight to the memories of summer and the time I spent with Hollander. Speaking of, he just got engaged, I think. I cut all ties with him on social media, so I can't be sure, but his girlfriend is walking around with this huge smile all the time and showing off her left hand a lot. And each time I see her walk around outside of feels like a knife in my heart. I read on Facebook that Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift broke up and my heart hurt a little for him. Because relationships ending are awful. I feel ya, Tom!

In other, more exciting news, though, Kyla and Nick just got engaged!!!! I am so excited for them! They're planning a summer wedding for next June and I am beyond thrilled!! Kyla asked me to be a bridesmaid and we're going to plan the wedding together in our lovely apartment!! We have a pinterest board already to gather ideas and are always open to new ideas! She's thinking country wedding with mint green, gold, and peach for her colors!! I'm totally open to more ideas if y'all have any. Send them to me!!! My pinterest handle is @raleighchristen. Send me ALL THE PINS!!!

Also, there's a guy that just moved in that I am very intrigued by. His name is James and I can't figure him out. I'll keep y'all posted. In the meantime send me ALL THE PINS for Kyla's wedding!!!

Back to School

Today was the first day of a new semester for me!! It was nice to finally have something to take my mind off of everything that's been going on around here. I'm pretty sure Kyla and Nick are going to get married. They're practically inseparable. I think they're completely MFEO, though, so it's fine.

I could talk a lot about what I'll be learning this semester, but really, unless you're a designer you'd find it boring. BUT, one thing I love is the feel of being on campus. Being among like minded individuals that are going to be the next generation of leaders! It's so inspiring!
This fall is a little bittersweet for me. This is my last year of college and although it's been so amazing, I'm sad that this is my last fall here. I can't wait to begin new adventures, but this whole experience has been an amazing journey. I've met the most remarkable friends that will have a huge impact on the rest of my life. I have loved this time to learn and grow! Part of me doesn't want to ever leave college, but another part of me knows it's time. I hate change. I hate letting of great experiences, even if amazing ones are lying in wait for me!
I ran into Hollander on campus today. My heart a aches when I see him. Our conversation went something like this:
H: Hey! (slightly surprised even though he knows I go there!)
Me: Hey back.
H: how are things?
Me:things are good. How are you?
H: Good. Good. Just got out of class. I was heading back to my apartment. Are you heading back that way? Want to walk together?
And my heart just broke a little bit. I know we're supposed to be friends and all that, but hearing him talk like we are actually friends and that we didn't fall in love.... Or acting like I wasn't in love with him... Was excruciating.
Me: I've actually got another class to go to, but thanks for the offer. It was nice to see you.
And before he could answer I started walking towards the Wilkinson center. I didn't have another class and needed to get home, but I didn't think my heart could take the walk home with him. So I didn't. And I waited in the Wilk for a half hour so he wouldn't know I'd lied to him.
Why did things have to go the way they did? I keep telling myself I don't love him and that we're just friends, but then I see him and I hear his voice and I'm right back where I started. Knowing that it will be hard to ever find someone who understood me like he did.

Pass the Ben and Jerry's

Hey y'all! Sorry I haven't posted lately. I've been a little down. Hollander and I broke up. Ugh. He's so stubborn! I hate it. You'd think he'd listen to what I had to say, but no. He just had to be right. I mean, I think I know what I'm talking about, right? Y'all understand, right?

Any way, I don't really want to get in to that right now. But, since I am officially single again, my roommates have started inviting me to come hang out with them, which is so sweet of them. But, it's a little awkward. The other night Kyla and Nick invited me to go see a movie with them and insisted that I come. So, I said I would. I didn't have any other plans. But, they also invited another couple. It was crazy awkward for me. I sat in between both couples watching a very intense action movie. I mean, at least it wasn't a chick flick or I would have probably sobbed all through it. Instead, I sat there awkwardly. And then, they sat through, like ALL of the credits. Who does that in a movie other than a Marvel movie? Apparently these people do. It was super weird. I ended up leaving the theater and responding to the texts I missed from being in the movie, because I am NOT one of those people who texts during movies. That's awful and no one should ever do it.

And then I came home and sat out on the balcony to just be by myself for a little bit and do you know who I saw?! That's right, I saw Hollander walking a girl home, and she was giggling. Ugh. And she's waaaay shorter than Hollander. She lives in the same building as me. I think her name is Stacey? Maybe? I can't remember exactly, but I do know her. And as much as I hate it, she's actually a pretty good fit for him. Which made me feel even worse. And I started to cry, but I didn't want people to know I was crying, so I was, like, muffling my cries. And then I saw Hollander leave a few minutes later. He stopped just after stepping off the sidewalk and totally looked right up at my balcony. I don't think he saw me, though, because I feel like he would have still said hi. Because things ended well, mostly. We said we'd still say hi and that kind of thing.

I hate dating. I hate breaking up even more. Because as great as Stacey is, I think I still have feelings for Hollander. And seeing them walk down the sidewalk together nearly killed me. I mean I was on my balcony crying. CRYING. I hate crying. And it was a real serisous cry, not like when I cried because Tom Hiddleston started dating Taylor Swift, which could be it's own post altogether. Ugh. But since we're talking about Tom, I think I am going to replace him because he's dating Taylor Swift. And I used to LOVE her music but now I listen to it and I cringe a little bit. I mean I'm sure they're happy, and that's awesome. I just hate people in happy relationships. Okay, I don't HATE them, but I just want to keep my distance from their happiness right now.

 I came across the mini series North and South on Netflix. Have y'all seen that one?! If not, you HAVE to watch it! I think the main guy on that one might be my new Tom. His name is Richard Armitage, and he is so amazing on that show. Apparently he was also in The Hobbit movies? I don't know that I've watched those ones. I mean, I've read The Hobbit, but three movies seems a bit much for how little that book is.

Any way, I'm exhausted. And all I've done is written this blog post! Emotions are hard. I don't like them. I mean, I love them, just not when my heart hurts. And my heart really hurts right now. I'm going to go eat some ice cream.

Night, y'all!!

Birthday Goodness

Hey y'all!! I know it's been a while and y'all thought I forgot about you, but I didn't. Promise. I had my birthday a few weeks ago and it was a month long celebration, I think.

Whenever we were just the girls at the apartment and we'd watch Chopped on the Food Network even though none of us cook as much as they do on the show, we'd have a brilliant idea to go get slurpees or something and then we'd say something like "we can't do that. We'd have to move." then someone would yell "BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION!!" And we'd all jump up and go. Most of the time. And then they would make me wear this inflatable crown that just appeared from nowhere three weeks ago and I had to wear it the entire time we were out of the apartment.

Seven eleven is such an interesting place at night. On the weekends it's a little bit sketchy, even for Provo. But, on weeknights there's usually no one there and since we're all mostly working part time jobs over the summer or taking a couple of classes, it's fun to go venturing out at midnight for a slurpee run. My favorite flavor is 2/3 Wild Cherry, 1/3 Pina Colada. I've never had a real pina colada, but the slurpees are totes delish. I can't imagine them being any better with alcohol.

My actual birthday was spent with the girls, minus Kyla. She had gotten into a fight with her boyfriend Nick a few days before and hadn't talked to him, and then he showed up with the most gorgeous flowers and the most heartfelt apology and I was almost crying it was so beautiful. He invited her to dinner, but she told him she couldn't.
"Why not?" he asked.
"Because it's Ralieigh's birthday and we have had these plans for weeks." she told him. Though I know she really wanted to go.
"Oh, for heaven's sakes. You're not staying here because of me." I told her. I pushed her out the door, Took her flowers from her and walked over to the sink.
"I'll put these in water. Have a nice night!" I yelled as the door shut. I really hope they make it. I can't think of a better couple than those two.

You know how people just fit together? That's Nick and Kyla. They just compliment each other. I love it. I love them. Together. And when Nick dropped her off, we heard whispering outside the door and muted the TV, because that's what you do. They were laughing about something and then he kissed her, I think. The door really muffled the sound coming in. And then Kyla came in and we quickly unmuted the TV and pretend that we weren't listening. Kyla blushed and then kissed Nick once more and pushed him out the door and closed it behind him. She leaned against the closed door and just looked at us with a goofy grin on her face.

"Guys, I think I love him" She told us, and all six of us squealed with delight. We watched him walk back to his apartment from our balcony door that overlooked the parking lot.

Oh! Hollander! I haven't updated y'all on him in a while. He's actually been gone the last three weeks. He wasn't here for my birthday, but he did send me a gorgous bouquet of flowers. Our apartment smelled wonderful for days. The card that came with Hollander's flowers just said "Thinking of you on your birthday. Can't wait to celebrate when I get back. -H" isn't he the sweetest? He went home because his little sister was getting married and she wanted to spend some time with him before the big day, I guess. I also don't think Hollander had gone home for a long time, so it's good that he went.

Guys, it's just been the most amazing month. I can't wait to tell you more, but I am so exhausted, I need to get some sleep!!

Night, y'all!!

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

Alrighty, y'all, I'm just saying this now, I'm pretty sure Hollander is the man of my dreams! *sigh* I die to death! (In a good way!) He took me on a date last night because he's headed to his parent's house for Father's Day today and I swanee! I swoon whenever I see him! I have a hard time breathing sometimes! I just, I can't even! And I know this all sounds familiar, but it's the truth!!

The date. Let me just say that he is more like a dream than reality. I sometimes pinch myself to make sure I'm awake! He came over to pick me up and instead of heading to his car he took my hand and we went for a walk. I was a little surprised, especially since I was wearing ballet flats, not walking shoes. And I was wearing this gorgeous white dress with this blue printed floral design on the edges. It kind of reminded me of the Dutch Delft blue pottery, only in my gorgeous spring dress that I found on sale the other day and nearly died and HAD to buy it. But that's neither here nor there, and it definitely has nothing to do with the actual date.

So, we're walking away from my apartment building and we're about a block away when he turns down another street. I look back at my apartment, confused.

"It's just a little further" He tells me and tugs gently at my hand, so I keep going. I have walked all over Provo, and I had never noticed the small park two blocks from my apartment! But Hollander did! And he had this beautiful picnic all set up! We sat on this gorgeous hand quilted blanket that looked like it had been passed down from generation to generation since about the pioneers. It was worn, but sturdy. The colors had long since faded, but I knew it had been loved. And I couldn't help wondering how long Hollander had kept this blanket, and why we were sitting on it. But, we sat down and he had made a simple picnic of sandwiches and chips and fruit and capri sun drinks! And fruit snacks! I felt like a kid again! And then after we ate we ran over to the swing set and he pushed me so I could go so high! We were laughing so hard, guys. I LOVED every minute of it! I can't even. He's just so perfect.

And then, after the swinging, we just sat there and talked. He's the oldest of five kids. He's from Park City. When he was a kid he wanted to be a fire fighter, and then a quarterback for the Denver Broncos, and now he's going to be an accountant. There is a sincerity in his eyes that I can't get past. I love it. I love him, but not like LOVE love him....YET. *sigh*

And when he walked me home, we stood outside my apartment door on the third floor and continued talking for a while longer and just before he said goodbye, he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and then HE KISSED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't even explain how amazing it was! It was just a simple but beautiful kiss and I loved it! I don't think I've ever been kissed like that, y'all. It was magical! Like, life altering magical!

And, we're going out again on Tuesday. I can't even wait!! I'll keep you posted on the deets as they come!!

Night, y'all!!!